I've got sunshine.

This has been a dope-ass weekend. Lemme break it down.

Talent show was fun as fuuck. Too bad after watching the video is when I realized my personal performance was hella bad and waaay better at practices. I don't know if we deserved third cause I didn't see many other performances, but I would've been happy whether we placed or not. Shit was hella fun even though I was nervous as fuuuck! Thanks for all the love from everyone though. Hahaha. Decided to go to the passion play afterwards instead of just kickin it to see my doo Awwwlex. He was helllla good! Oh man, made everyone cry and shit. Awwlex and RJ made me hella like it. Goood shit. Went straight home and KOed.

Saturday tutoring at JFK. Mr. V's still the greatest. Ate at Scotty's for my first time, and it was soo good. I didn't wanna do anymore Calculus when I got back, so I just kinda sat there until 4. Went to Squarefield then got to cotillion practice late.. We got the vests, ties, and dresses. Team pink, son! It's kinda weird dancing with other people after dancing the same pahtnuh for hella long. After, I saw the best gravity bong ever made. Props, Spotty.

Barking, green tea kit kats, music, rapping, wal-mart, bubble bath, hopping fences, pools, flip-turns, hot tubs, talks, freezing cold, teenagers. This girl..
I'm not sure how to feel or what to think about all this, but I really like it.. :]
My dad woke me up at what felt like hellla early. Went to mass for the first time in hella long, and I think it was my first time ever being early. Went to Scandia with my dad, changed my car oil, got home and KOed. Woke up, ate, and computer.

Happy Easter everyone.

Feeling that drive for some reason.

Despite the severe case of senioritis that's tryna catch me, I'm trying my best to find the vaccination. I've been pretty busy, but I kinda like it. It's like I'm running my own life now, deciding on what to do and when to do it. Prioritizing, setting goals, and preparing for college while still tryna have some fun and do stuff that makes me happy. I'm really glad that my mom gave me so much freedom so that I can learn how to make my own decisions on without her there to hold my hand the whole way.

There's been a LOT of talk about my family's individual lives lately; my mom's been educating me with some family history. It's kinda personal to put up on here even if it is my "journal." I think it's best to keep it in my head for now though. I'll just say I'm in the best position out of all my family to take these opportunities, just run with it, and hop over all these obstacles without looking back. My future and real life is coming fast, and I'm gonna get there no matter what it takes.

On another note, I've been reeeally happy lately. I don't know if it's cause school's getting to that chill mode in two weeks or so, I'm juiced for all the upcoming events, or it's the butterflies again. Either way, it's a good ass feeling. Better than being under the influence in any way at all. Maybe that's why I haven't been doing any of that shit lately. I really don't feel like I want it at all. Life high, son!

As much as I hate to admit it, band and drumline's slowly falling to the bottom of the list of shit I have to do. I mean, I love everyone in it and drumming sometimes, but like trying hella hard on it isn't gonna help me in the future anymore. I also feel like I'd be pushing for nothing except the last performance of my life, which will probably have no significance on anybody. This show's just for shits and giggles, along with the rest of senior year, anyways. This has been a dope ass school year with the best class ever. Nobody is gonna be as tight as our class, and I really believe that. Haha. 2011 a11 day.

Oh, and the talent show is about to be dooope! Get there before tickets sell out! Hahaha.

Why the fuck do I feel hella passionate about everything right now!? I need to get off this shit fast. Peeace.

Good news and news I would've rather not heard.

I was the happiest person ever at lunch. I really was expecting the worse, but it turned out to make me happy the entire day, despite the stuff I would've rather not heard later in the day. As much as I don't want feelings and shit take so much control over me, they really do. I like how things are going right now too. I'm still not really tryna rush into things, but "just seeing where things go" might just do that. I'm hella juiced for prom. Two more weeks, a day, and counting. :]

My "universitywide" Analytical Writing Placement Examination is the same day as Vallejo classic comp. FUCK me. One of my last times drumming ever. Well the future's more important than the past, so I guess it's worth it in the name of UCSD. And I won't be able to get my singing solo at the beginning of the show if I miss Vallejo! D: Oh well, Encinal will be my last. It's been a looong ride.

I'm gonna keep the rest on the low. Let's just say Dayton was waaay more closer than we thought. Fuuuuck. If lunch didn't happen today I'd be so much more pissed off, but the good news overweighs it.

I can't play high F# on my tenor sax, so I don't think Careless Whisper's gonna be an option unless I magically get and learn it on an alto. I really wanted to though. Ahaha.

Calculus has officially taken over my life.

DK needs to fuckin schedule me, son!

Still pretty exhausted, but I'm troopin'. Almost there!

My collection's almost complete..

6th; Winter: Zelda

6th; Spring: Zelda

7th; Winter: Kill Bill

7th; Spring: Lookin' for the Perfect Beat/Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now

8th; Fall: I Wanna be the One

8th; Winter: Ocean's Eleven

8th; Spring: Boogie Wonderland

9th; Fall: Ain't my B****

9th; Winter: Sin City

9th; Spring: Ain't my B****

10th; Fall: Green Light

10th; Winter: Maturity

10th; Spring: Shame

11th; Fall: Another Part of Me

11th; Winter: Oasis

11th;Spring: Power Rangers

12th;Fall: Pokemon

12th; Winter: Azteca

Spring "break" is coming to a close.

I thought it would be impossible to raise $30000 within a week, but we're almost there! Dayton's looking like a real possibility now. I swear, I want this more than anything right now. It's like damn near seven years of training all for this. I know I've slacked off a lot since I got to high school because of my priority list and other obligations. If I stuck with it and stayed as committed, I'd probably be there with Corrie at BD tryouts even though I can't afford it. It would be dope as fuck to retire my drumming career after winning world championships, but I really gotta get this shit perfect first. Right now I'm far from it, but I WILL get this shit. On everything.

I still have some shit to do for calculus, but I don't even care until I find out if we're going to Dayton or not. It's really all or nothing. Even though I just realized that I have had and am going to continue to have have zero free days for all spring "break," I know that alll this shit (not just drumline) will pay off.

It's still been a dope ass break, though. My first week was like mostly fun, going out every night, and some work. This week was more like all business and not going out at night, buut I got some kick it time with a certain someone. :] Hahaha, I'm not tryna rush into things though.

Things are still lookin up. I'm getting there.

One day of rest.. and Calculus.

Finally, a day I can sleep in. Buuut not a free day since there is cotillion practice. No free days until Saturday. Fuck, just need to keep pushing.

I never thought I'd look up to someone who's younger than me.

I'm gonna start trying to not drink as much or smoke at all again. I've been finding it hard to focus and think straight lately. It might be just me, a guilty conscience, or lack of drive, but I think it would be best for me to hold back on that shit.

Didn't get an NCBA drumline picture this year. :[ My most important year too. Got another championship under my belt even though it was just by .05. I really do want to go to Dayton, but at the same time I wish the season could be over already so that I could stop stressing and tryna juggle hella obligations and shit.

Oh, and I have $0. Living off my parents just like the good old days. They're actually giving me money again now that I'm legitly broke. Haha. My mom said she's not gonna pay for any part of Dayton since I already went to Hawaii last year, so I don't know how that's gonna work out. I completely understand though, especially with senior year already hella expensive as it is. Oh, and I'm gonna miss about a week of school if we go. I'm already kissing my straight A's goodbye.

Still exhausted though. Time for some power resting. AZTEC SLEEP. Haha, night bloggerz.

And miles to go before I sleep.

Goin back to Honolulu just to get that- that Maui Wowie. Gooood ass vibes all day.

Anyways, spring break is almost at its halfway point, and I've been busy as fuck. Buut I still have been going out literally every night, getting the opportunity to drink and get free alcohol and shit EVERY night so far. I don't always take it, but fuck, can we just put it down for a night and have some sober fun? People always tryna get high and drink, but I guess that's life. It's my fault though, I just need to get better at saying no.

Drumline and calculus are my life right now. I'm trying as hard as I can, but shit's getting overwhelming. There's so much more to say, but I'll leave it at that cause I need to get to work soon.

I'm about to schedule my foods 101 finally on April 7th. I need to call them back. FINALLY. I'm gonna have money again! :D First thing on my list is that prom tux. ;]

I guess you can say we're "talking" now. It's a nice feeling to say the least.

I'm going to UCSD for sure.

Things are lookin up. One final push, then it'll all be over. Let's get there.

P.S. I really just think out loud on here, which is why I switched back from tumblr, put more personal shit, and didn't put the link to it anywhere. Kinda like a journal that everyone has access to, but just has to look for if they really want to see. Ahaha.